When you’re unable to avoid a situation with people who might shame you for abstaining from alcohol, try to bring a friend or your sponsor along with you as a buffer. The buddy system may not seem so effective right now, but it can be powerful to have someone backing you up and telling others you’re trying to stay sober and to respect that. A journey can begin with community mutual-help groups, inpatient treatment, residential rehab, outpatient programs, and more. Depending on the severity of addiction and readiness to change, different options may be beneficial for different people.
If this has ever happened to you, you know about these feelings. And you might even still sometimes think about what you could have done at the time, or after, to protect yourself. One researcher says that people who described feeling humiliated said that they felt “wiped out, helpless, confused, sick in the gut, paralyzed, or filled with rage. It was as if they were made small, stabbed in the heart, or hit in the solar plexus.
Shame as a Barrier to Addiction Treatment
You can see why shame can be such a problematic feeling that can affect your mental state, especially if you internalize these feelings. The reason shame is so effective and why it could be dangerous for someone newly sober is because it activates a powerful protective response in your brain. As you move forward in your recovery being sober around drinkers and have more time under your belt, your brain will understand what you can do to avoid these feelings and more effectively shut them down before they cause problems. Even after being in recovery for a while, you may not be delighted with the changes you have made.4 In fact you may realize you don’t like being sober.
- Lots of people – almost definitely including people you know – have stopped or reduced their drinking during the pandemic.
- Now he’s a case manager working on his CRA to become an administrator.
- It may help to pick a quit date, or a day when you choose to discontinue use of alcohol or drugs.
- American Addiction Centers (AAC) is committed to delivering original, truthful, accurate, unbiased, and medically current information.
And often, when we’re humiliated, we lose all ability to take action. This clarity allows for increased progress in all areas of life. Being sober can lead to improved memory, cognitive function, in addition to an enhanced ability to cope with stress. With the increased energy and improved mood, you can focus on more meaningful areas of life rather than merely coping with a state of impaired health and well-being.
Why Do I Hate Being Sober, and What Can I Do About It?
Many members of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) define sobriety in this way, for example. Research from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) indicates that shame is the largest barrier to alcoholics getting treatment. Ironically, asking for help and seeking treatment should be something recovering alcoholics are proud of. If these emotions become excessive, they can hold you back from recovery. If you are trying to maintain a sober lifestyle, those feelings can become toxic and contribute to relapse if you don’t deal with them properly.
The more strategies you learn to identify triggers, cope with stress, and manage your new sober life, the easier it is to prevent relapse. It is estimated that up to 80% of those who find long-term sobriety had at least one relapse along the way. Some people experience many setbacks before they find lasting recovery.
